Craigslist Strangeness.

So I posted on Craigslist an Armoire for sale. Vanessa and I paid over $2,000 for it originally, but I was asking $900 since there's no place for it in the condo. And typically, you'd like to get .50 cents on the dollar for any used furniture so it's a pretty fair price for it.

So here's a response that I get from Craigslist:

"I saw your posting at craigslist.org for an armoire. I am a certified massage therapist and a certified personal fitness trainer. I would be willing to trade two 2 hour sessions for it(either massage therapy OR personal fitness training), provided it is made of solid(REAL) wood and NOT particle board. I also want to make sure that all the parts work properly, and that there is no major structural or cosmetic damage, etc. I have a large van and an industrial-grade dolly with a 700 pound capacity. I can pick it up as soon as you want. The voucher I would give you is transferable, which means that you can use it yourself, and you can also give it to someone as a gift. Please let me know if you are interested."

So my initial response is this:

1. Not interested...and you're retarded.
2. The sales price is $900...NOT $90...please re-read the post.
3. You are offering a 2-hour massage therapy session?!? I better get 3 happy endings and you better look like Lindsay Lohan (shut-up, I think she's hot!).
4. You are only interested, if the armoire is a high-quality one?!? Dood...how about if I throw in a sandwich and wash your car for you while you're here picking it up...anything else I can do for you?

At any rate, I am inclined to not even respond because I don't want this guy to have my e-mail address. Any suggestions on what I should write back?

-- Spencer