6

only six ai finalists left, that means a lot of filler? hope not. opening shot of katharine, did she look stunning or what! i actually thought she song the song pretty well, considering a lot of the song was sung in her lower register. a lot of girls sound like ass in their low notes. and did you catch her wardrobe malfunction? one of the buttons in the front of her dress popped open right in front of her crotch. she reached down right at that moment to make sure she wasn't flashing simon her bush. i was watching it in slow motion in hopes of catching a glimpse. the judges didn't like it but i could understand the song might have been too big for her.

funny, david foster is like the simon of guest influences. no, that sounds like garbage! elliott wasn't bad, but then i was adjusting my surround sound settings while he was singing. at least i didn't notice any bad parts. damn, paula was crying!

kellie has no one to play pottery with. she should just mold a little cylinder and sit on it. nancy, she talks just like you ;) i think andrea bocelli wants to play pottery with her. i felt kellie sang this song just too straight and without emotion. i didn't think it was as bad as the judges made it out to be tho. ryan is a dick, i want to see he and simon go at it in the octagon.

did you like paris' fanned out hair? she could be one of charlie's angels with that lid. either that or one of mr. drummond's adopted kids. i think she gave a pretty solid and powerful performance. i bet she'd be loud enough to go without a microphone. i'm kinda curious what chris is going to sing.

whoa, i had ro rewind for william hung. i could not understand what the fuck he just said. nadetdog? tell me if you made it out. i can see taylor crushing "just once". let's find out. ah, he connected with me - i felt like he wanted to find a way to make it right, with me damnit. now that's how you emote. wow, judges completely disagree. i know he ain't going home tomorrow.

nice, wonder if chris is going to perform the song laying down on the floor of the stage. head was super smooth tonight. hmm, chris belting love songs. how would that sound, someone barking a long song up to you on the balcony? the judges loved it.

it was weird, you could hear people chatting while they were playing contestant highlights. i logged back into fantasy idol and didn't have to change my picks, kellie should be going home tomorrow night.

i'm heading to costa rica tomorrow afternoon so you might not hear from me for a coupla days. i'll have some black beans and rice for all of ya.

memorial

i got up at 10:45am today, that's pretty late for a saturday for me. granted i fell asleep around 3am. i watched "million dollar baby", that was a pretty inspiring and then depressing movie. i definitely didn't expect it to end that way. i'm pretty sure clint eastwood's character got arrested, right?

cheetos puffs rule, by the way. hello fat ass and orange keyboard. i rode the slingshot to memorial park today in hopes of playing some sand vb. what sucks is i think the bike is a little small for me. i'd guess it's a 16 whereas i'd normally ride a 17-18. the seat is high enuf but i feel like i'm way over the handlebars. i guess i could get a longer stem or riser bars. if i'm going to keep riding to the park i better get a new helmet since i'd look pretty ridiculous riding a mtn bike wearing a motorcycle helmet. jk mom and dad, i never had a motorcycle (or 3) in sf. whatever, they saw the tattoo and were okay with it. i didn't get to play doubles because some texas aggies showed up in the afternoon and claimed one of the courts. instead i played some 4's. it's strange, i can pass an outdoor serve pretty well but can't pass an indoor serve for shit. this is no good because the las vegas tournament coming up is indoor. i guess i'll either be all the way up at the net or all the way at the back line calling in or out.

on the ride back home my legs started cramping. first my thighs and then my calves. not surprising since the few hours that i was out there i only drank like 20 ounces of water. you know how when you cramp the first thing people do is stretch out the tightening muscle? what happens if you just let it go? besides the obvious pain will it eventually relax? i think that'd be a pretty nasty way to torture someone. first make them play some sand vb in 100 degree weather for 5 hours with nothing to drink. then strap them down and watch them lock up. maybe we can try it on franky in lv.

made it thru my tivo

was katharine wearing football shoulder pads under her jacket? and was ace the last samurai? that's right, after i got home i watched about 5 hours of tivo from the past two weeks. two episodes of 24, that 70's show, ai, and some other random shit. for whatever reason the queen performances didn't get recorded. anyhow, i noticed that rod stewart didn't have any feedback for ace so he's partly to blame for ace's departure. i thought taylor and katharine's performances were great, the rest were just average. i watched the beginning of kellie's performance and it was just putting me to sleep so i fast forwarded to the judge's comments. man, they were all pretty hard on her, and that's gotta be hard to do since she's so sweet. at least she was very aware that she blew it and wore great shoes (i guess). it doesn't matter cuz we already know color me ace is audi. i'd also like ryan seacrest to get voted off. and paula needs to shut up about this zone everyone is in.

and then onto the results episode, elliott must have been shitting in his pants when kellie got sent to stand by him. but then when kat took the long walk as well all was good. wow, they just put a lot of pressure on taylor to choose the top half. well, based on the previous night's performance it should have been pretty clear, with the possible exception of kellie. he did kinda pull a dick move by shaking hands with chris first tho. ace and chris were likened to ben affleck and matt damon, which is true because only half of each of those pairs has any talent. even tho he's leaving ai, i'm sure we haven't seen the last of him.

akl-lax-iah

i just got back to the crib in houston a little while ago, it's good to be home. when i was in line at check-in in auckland i was rapping with this gal heading back to san diego. she came prepared for the 12 hour flight to lax with some lunesta, which is a sleep aid. we both have emergency aisle seats and about 8 hours into the flight i'm tossing and turning, that girl is out like troy. what do i mean by that? did you ever see the movie "troy" with brad pitt. whenever he hooks up with a woman, the next scene has him getting ready to bounce and she's passed out like an anvil got dropped on her head. man, he must've given these girls lunesta or something.

the ride from lax to iah sucked, next to these two kids. one was less than one and the other was probably less than three. cryin and screamin the whole way. and then i left "fast food nation" on the plane, which i was halfway thru. at least it wasn't my ipod. wait, where is it...

later mate

it's friday in nz and i just saw two trannies while i was walking to the client site this morning. i'm guessing they were trannies anyway. if they have more facial hair than me or their calves are bigger than mine, i'm thinkin they're trannies. or if i brush up against them and feel their nuggets. not that there's anything wrong with it.

so yesterday was a rather unlucky day for me and those around me. we were in wellington for the day at a branch office doing more training. in the afternoon we took a cab from the branch office to the airport to head back up to auckland. the cabbie was an old friend of my client partner's. anyhow, we're at a rather busy intersection. just imagine the first two lanes of traffic coming from right to left, a thin median, then two lanes going from from left to right. we needed to cross the first two lanes and the median to turn right. now imagine this is 19th ave, el camino, or route one at a busy time with no traffic light. so we're waiting, waiting, waiting, and then we see a big suv in the first lane turning onto the street we're trying to get out of. the cabbie makes his way into the lanes of traffic but i was thinking we really can't see if there's a car behind that big suv. sure enuf, after the suv turns a little japanese import slams on his brakes and plows into the cab. it was weird, the front of the import was crumpled but the front fender of the ford cab was barely damaged. they exchanged insurance information and then we made our way thru that intersection and to the airport. the cabbie figures he'll just use a board or something to straighten out the fender.

when we land in auckland a guy behind us gets up and opens up the overhead compartment across from me. out drops this hard plastic briefcase and it drops on this bald guy's head, just above his left eyebrow. at first i see the cut but then i see the blood soaked tissue paper he's holding against his face. and i think it was actually his own briefcase that attacked him. "please be careful when opening the overhead compartment as items may have shifted during the flight..."

then we took a cab from the airport back to the hotel. holy shit, this guy stunk. i mean, he really smelled like shit. well, not shit, but maybe i would have preferred that, especially if there's papaya in it. anyhow, as he started driving i kept moving around in hopes of dodging the stench but to no avail. i swear anywhere i turned my head it was as if this big invisible armpit was always in my grill. i rolled my rear window down in hopes of being overpowered by diesel exhaust, skunk fumes, a sheep slaughterhouse, or even some tzo tofu. goddamn his shit was strong! he must have had some kind of funk amplifier on or something. jesus christ! if i end up sitting next to someone like him on the flight from auckland to lax i'm gonna grab my pillow and blanket and lock myself in the toilet. is there such a thing as the mile high club for one?

last night i made one last visit to the white house, a gentlemen's club next to the quest hotel i was staying at. my girl charisma was there again so we hooked up for an hour long lap dance, or show as they call it. now at the white house they don't charge by the song, they charge by time. 30 minutes is $90 nzd, 60 minutes is $150 nzd, which is approximately $56 usd and $94 usd respectively. for those not in the know, every place i've been to in the usa charges $20 per song. at an average of 3-4 minutes per song, that's 15-20 songs per hour, which would come out to $300-400 for an hour of entertainment. let's forget the fact that she's fine and butt nekid, at a 69-77% discount, how can you resist? just think of all that money i saved! anyhow, if you'll be in sydney, australia, soon visit her at pure platinum.

sigur ross

i showed up at the st. james theater at about 7:00pm and they hadn't started letting people in yet. there was a line up the sidewalk and around the block. i think they finally opened the doors at 7:15 and i was inside and in front of the stage by 7:30. it's a small, old, and intimate venue, again like the warfield in sf. my back was killing me by the time the opening act (four women that make up the group amina) came on stage at 8:30. the stage was littered with all kinds of vintage xylophones and keyboards and synthesizers while an apple powerbook took center stage. there was even a set of half filled wine glasses up there. not a good sign i thought. how do i describe their sound? ok, you know ross on friends, and the "music" he used to make back in the day? well, it's kinda like that but times 4. there was this ringing noise from the wine glasses, the twanging sound from playing and bending a long saw blade, the pinging of those kiddy xylophones you had as a youngster. you know, the kind that had wheels and you could pull around. aural hell on wheels. there was also this handheld keyboard probably the size of a dozen eggs, maybe smaller. anyhow, these women would jump from one instrument to the other and their parts would get recorded and looped on the powerbook. this isn't a band that you stand up front for. hell, it's barely something you sleep to.

sigur ros was something else. from left to right on the stage: keyboard, guitar/lead vocal, bass, and drums. he played his electric guitar with a bow and sang almost entirely in this eery falsetto. not only that, it was in icelandic and a made up hopelandic tongue. in other words, i doubt anyone in the audience really knew what he was singing. one of the albums actually has an empty sleeve so that you could write your own lyrics to their songs. anyway, their music was much more organized, powerful, and melancholy than the opener. i was trying to figure out when i'd listen to their music and the only thing i could figure is during a dramatic suicide or the tormented ending of a lover's life. maybe the end of a modern romeo and juliet would be appropriate. if you hear me listening to them it might be a subconscious cry for help. interestingly enuf someone in line had told me that radiohead was either influenced by sigur ros or the other way around. in some of the songs i could see how they could sound like radiohead if they threw some english lyrics in there.

alanis x

the snoop dogg show was in this big tent which could hold a few thousand people. I kid you not, there were more african americans on stage than in the crowd. When I got there it seemed like half of the white house was there but then they ended up watching from backstage. Don't strippers just get all the perks? Did you realize snoop has been making hits over a decade? Also I was impressed by the fact that he actually had a full band backing him up. Two dj's, a drummer, guitarist, bassist, and two keyboards. The dj's would usually start the song by playing the intro on vinyl but then the band would kick in. He played all his old classics and even had tributes to biggie and tupac.

sunday i woke up and had a big ass breakfast that put me right back to sleep: cereal, toast, fruit, hot tea, and a hot plate including two poached (seemed like ostrich) eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, and tomatoes. i woke up around 1pm and made my way to the ferry building to get over to waiheke island. i'm telling you, that 45 minute ride couldn't have been over fast enough. the weather and sights were great but for someone that gets sea sick it don't matter. we finally de-ferried (not sure if that's a word) and it took me probably a good hour to get back to normal (assuming i've ever been normal). i had a few hours before the evening jazz performance so i hiked to oneroa bay. waiheke island used to be a place where ordinary people lived but lately more and more wealthy people started moving in and really driving up the price of real estate. in downtown oneroa i kid you not one out of five storefronts was a residential real estate office.

what i did stumble upon twice was oneroa fish and chips, a local eatery that specialized in fried stuff. it was great, you could smell the grease walking up the street. on the way to the beach (the first time) i ordered a banana fritter and a pineapple fritter. this was basically a battered and fried banana and pineapple ring. the second time i ordered beer battered fish and chips and spiced calamari strips. had i eaten the latter with my eyes closed i would've guessed they rolled them in salt. the fish and chips were excellent tho.

the windy and steep walking path from ofc to the beach reminded me a little of lombard street that the tourists line up to drive down. but instead of opening up to lombard street you see this great view of oneroa bay, surrounded on two sides by hills and trees and ending at the small stretch of beach. i sat at the edge for a while just watching the waves crash in and the anchored sailboats rock from side to side. i was thinking this is why you make and save money, so you can visit places like this. or you could just work for accenture and pray they don't send you to oklahoma city for half a year.

then i went towards the water to search for a particular kind of rock. back when i was living in sf i went to this one tiny beach along route 1, probably halfway between half moon bay and monterey. i'm trying to remember who was with me at the time, laura and mimi or gloria. anyhow, i found this one small stone in a rectangular shape with rounded edges that had a hole smoothly worn away in the middle. why is this rare? because if you look at all the other debris tumbled onto the beach they're all smooth on the edges but solid in the middle. that is unless it happened to be a cross section of a shell and then it's hollow in the middle. so either this rock already had a small hole in it and it was eventually made larger and smoother or by random chance the natural erosion that occured was concentrated in the center. anyhow, i decided to put this little rock on a string around my neck. i even got the red string used in necklaces when i was visiting china. instead of putting one end of the string thru the hole and then tying a knot, i decided i'd be different. i went ahead and closed the loop first, when threaded part of the loop thru the hole, and then threaded the other loop and pulled it tight. that way it could move around a little, which turned out not to be a good thing. one day i was taking a shit when i felt something touch my thigh and then i heard something fall in the water. i looked up as if the sky were falling. nothing. then i felt for the stone around my neck. nothing. somehow it had unraveled itself and fallen into the toilet. a clean toilet would be one thing but this one had some lincoln logs in it already. i thought "hmm, that sucks" and flushed it. so that's why i was looking for another stone to replace it.

i headed back towards the ferry because the jazz festival was being held right next to it in another tent. this evening they were focusing on vocalists. i especially liked two of the younger ones, chris melville and elena stone, one from nz and the other from australia. if you're into jazzy vocals i think you'll be hearing about elena stone in the future. i was talking to the old ladies next to me about the music and the area and then asked when the last ferry back to auckland left. they thought there might be some later ones but basically offered me a spot on their couch if i missed it. i thought that was pretty nice of them.

the show ended at 9:45pm so that allowed me to catch the 10:15pm ferry back. i learned that if i just slept thru the ride i wouldn't be affected by the motion. when i got back to the hotel i picked up the local paper and saw alanis' picture and a teaser saying she was in town. of course i already knew that. apparently a reporter spotted her biking thru the park with fiance ryan reynolds. this is kinda funny because when i was standing next to them at baggage claim i was going to ask her if she was playing a show in nz. she was busy chatting on her cell so instead i was going to ask this scraggly guy she was with. i looked at him and thought he looked kinda familiar but wasn't 100% sure. we made eye contact, i'm sure he was thinking "that's right, it's me". i wonder if he would've been offended had i simply asked about her and ignored the fact that he was in a tv sitcom and a recent movie. i know it's surprising but people don't recognize me from tiger bomb fame either :)

i think i need to brush up on my punctuation rules, especially when used with quotes. ok, gotta go brush my teeth and head over to the sigur ros show. hope these whales/wails rock the mic.

the cube

some of you may know i've been intrigued by this tiny boxy import called the nissan cube. i first saw it in an auto magazine a few years ago under the heading "cars you wish you could have but can't". basically it was highlighting a few foreign cars that were either superior in design or performance that wouldn't be shipped to the usa. this one caught my eye because it was compact, shaped like a mini-loaf, and the side rear windows were assymetrical. what do i mean by that? if you look closely at the very last window on the right side of the picture the glass doesn't seem to come to an end. that's because it actually wraps around the back of the vehicle. the window on the left side doesn't. i finally saw one in person as i was crossing the street in an area of auckland called newmarket. it was kind of mint green in color and even smaller than i imagined, maybe a tad smaller than the scion xb. it was pretty cool, i hope they send a few stateside.

show time

do you remember these dire straits lyrics from the song "money for nothing": the little faggot got his own jet airplane, the little faggot is a millionaire. it was the 80's when this song came out and i don't remember a big deal being made about the lyrics on mtv or on the radio, maybe there was an edited version? how did you butt pirates in sf react? jk.

so today i went nuts buying tickets for local shows:

tonight - snoop dogg
sunday - elana stone on nearby waiheke island for the jazz festival
monday - sigur ros

i don't normally go to rap shows but i'm going to see the doggfather with charisma, a local exotic dancer i befriended. of course that's just her stage name, her real name is sarra jane. it's not a date, some of the ladies are going to the show and she suggested i go as well. waiheke island is sposably just beautiful and only 45 minutes away from auckland by ferry. i'll go walk around and visit the beach during the day and then go see elana stone at night. she's apparently sydney's favourite young jazz singer. i've never heard anything by sigur ros but a friend in houston recently saw them and raved about the show. local reviews are all good but no one can really describe their sound or compare them to anyone else. a gal in line tried to describe them like this: "you ever heard whales (or wails)? it's kinda like that but with an icelandic ambient spin". no clue what that means but i'll be adventurous.

dinner last night and lunch today were off the hook! last night i ordered the large sashimi platter from tanuki. it cost $30 nzd which is about $18.62 usd. this plate was fresh and flippin huge! normally you could eat sashimi forever, right? i only managed to kill about 2/3 of it and gave the rest to the gal at the hotel front desk. either that or risk food poisoning by saving it for later. today i went to daikoku for shoyu ramen and curry over rice. $13 nzd ~ $ 8.07 usd, great deal and both were off the hizzle for shizzle my nizzle. sorry, just getting ready for the show.

american history

american idol is about two months behind here in nz. the episode on right now is the tryouts in hollywood. you know, the one where terrell brittenum speaks out after his group's performance and says that two of them slept instead of practicing the night before. then after tony gets booted terrell says tony was tone deaf and threw them off. elliott is just shaking his head in the background. i'm just waiting for the moment when the other twin derrell goes "my spirit... has been broken..." "nobody will do that to you. nobody!" derrell says to terrell. dumbasses. but get this, i read somewhere that jermaine dupri offered the scam artists a record deal! i can't wait to hear the name of the new group, perhaps "identitty thugz"? and let's not forget "brokenote mountain". holy shit was that little cowboy garet horrible.

who's that in the background?

n it's good friday in nz (as it is everywhere else, altho in some areas it's not friday yet) and the city is pretty dead. most places are closed for business today and maybe sunday and/or monday too. i'm not at the client site yet cuz everyone's left town on holiday but i'll probably go in soon for a conference call with some wanker americans.

i went to kelly tarlton's this morning, it's like a mini seaworld type joint. they've got a stingray tank and this tunnel that goes thru a big tank and the upper half of the tunnel is this see thru acrylic so you can see all around as if you were under water. but you know how when you first get new glasses and your eyes haven't adjusted yet so you get this nasty headache? being in that tunnel was a little like that. then i was next to some smaller aquariums, minding my own business and listening to radiohead on the hpod, when this little japanese kid tugs at my arm and says something. i had to take out one of my earbuds and ask him what he said. he points to one of the lion fish and goes "did you know that those are poisonous?" what i wanted to say was "do you know who i am? mf jacques pengsteau! yeah i know lion fish, pterois volitans, are poisonous and there is no known antidote to it's venom. brooke shields' dumb ass stepped on one of those in the blue lagoon." ok, i had to look some of that up (but i knew the poisonous and brooke shields part) but i've been to the monterey bay aquarium like 5 times. and i just saved a lot of money on my car insurance.

i took the free shuttle back from the aquarium. it's this minivan with graphics all over it and two penguins and a great white shark on the roof. literally, these plastic animals mounted to the roof. as we're about to pull away this mom and son are standing next to the van as pops is taking a picture. i'm just to the right of them but inside the van and was about to flip them off so they'd have a nice souvenir from nz but i thought better of it. passive anti-social tendencies again.

i almost had a flashback of an auto-pedestrian accident my friend cecily had a few months ago. i was walking down the sidewalk yesterday when i heard some screeching tires. i didn't even turn around until i saw what i believe to be a tranny rushing to the edge of the street to gawk at something. then i saw it, a car stopped in the lane, a white woman standing in front of her car with her hands over her mouth, an asian girl crouched about 5 feet in front of the car, and one of her shoes about 10 feet away. looks like the asian gal got hit by this white devil as she was crossing the street. someone went to retrieve the shoe and gave it back to the girl. i saw that the pedestrian slowly stood up so i turned around and kept walking. next thing you know this girl comes sprinting in front of me and into some army surplus store, as if nothing had happened! i was thinking someone just got punk'd. i can see how someone might get demo'd crossing the street as i almost have twice. not only do the kiwis drive on the right side of the car, they also drive on the left side of the street! so when i cross the street, i have to remember to look right instead of left for the closest lane of incoming traffic. and then once i get to the median i have to remember to look left instead of right. it gets even worse at a 4 way intersection, i just follow others at this point. i've also got to remember to wear clean underwear so when i get hit and taken to the hospital...

business super casual

my luggage didn't arrive in new zealand with my plane. it's now 7:37am in auckland, new zealand, and i'm going to have to visit the client soon dressed like a scrub: jeans, sneakers, t-shirt, puma track jacket. at least i shaved yesterday and packed my toofbrush in my computer bag. my gear gets in at midnight and i should have it by tomorrow morning.

oh yeah, alanis morissette was on my flight from lax. i looked in the local paper and it doesn't say anything about her performing here soon. james blunt is playing tonight tho, i'll try to hit that off. the paper said the rolling stones are playing this weekend and promises satisfaction DESPITE nickelback playing in support. hilarious, is nickelback the new creed?

my mom is growing a mullet

hey all, sorry i've been mia (chen) for a little while. i was in montreal and toronto last week for work leading training sessions every day. they'd go something like this:

so this is the application and how you should be using it...
i-many sucks, it's too slow.
it's actually your local network that's causing the poor performance.
nuh-uh.
yuh-huh.

in montreal i was leading classroom style sessions. in toronto, classroom and webex. personally, i think these training sessions can all be done over webex with good results but i'm not going to complain. first two nights in montreal got to go to good steak houses in old montreal. charming area, would love to come back during the summer. in toronto i went to this benihana style joint in the hotel. it was actually the first time i've ever been to one of these show and cook type places. as he was flipping around his mammoth salt and pepper shakers i was thinking "if i get any pepper in my eye this tea cup is heading straight for your forehead". luckily he was careful and the food was above average - i went with the black tiger shrimp and scallops as beef was starting to come out of my ass. i'd go back, maybe next time with a rowdy group i'll throw some ice cubes on the grill. i never made it to the tim horton's in montreal but got to visit one at the toronto airport wednesday night. there was a long line but no one else seemed interested in the chocolate covered/caramel filled donuts besides me. the verdict? not bad. maybe they'd be spectacular fresh off the line?

i'm writing this on notepad towards the end of the flight from los angeles to auckland, new zealand. that's right, they've sent me out here for two weeks to train more users. and get this, both weeks are 4 day work weeks because of good friday and easter! so this week i work mon-thu and next week tue-fri. the good thing is i get to do some exploring of the area fri-mon but i read that the city basically shuts down on good friday and easter. fodor's guide also said that the annual waiheke jazz festival happens around easter on waiheke island, just off of auckland.
while i was in the airport people watching i was reminded of some things. do you remember when you were first dating someone, the first time you took them to the airport as he/she went away on a trip? that was a big deal. for the two of you that last hug and kiss always seemed too short and voyeurs thankfully thought it would never end. of course greeting them upon return was an event as well. hey honey, how was your trip? i missed you so much! let's bop.

i grabbed a light dinner yesterday in terminal e of bush intercontinental airport in houston. typically airport vendors would charge you $3 for a drink and another $7-9 for food, right? well, my single beef fajita taco with refried beans and rice cost me $5.94 at pappasitos. pretty reasonable and totally tasty. when i sat down to eat it i found out why. the table tent said that terminal e vendors should not be charging more than you'd expect to pay at the mall and if they did there was a number you could call to bitch. about damn time! guess which vendor had the longest line? that's right, that purveyor of authentic chinese cuisine - panda express. i'm slightly offended for two reasons: one, general tsao's chicken and broccoli and beef have come to define chinese cuisine for most of the western world; two, the line was too flipping long and this twinky couldn't get any! i miss that hot pink dipping sauce, just like mom used to synthesize.

ok, on to the reason why you're even here: american idol. i missed last week's performance and elimination shows so wasn't able to comment on any of it. mandisa was booted but i can see how country might not be her forte, you just don't don't hear a lot of country songs being belted at the top of your lungs. i'm not sure when/if ai is on in new zealand but bucky and ace are getting stale. anyone figure out how the fantasy idol points are awarded?

this is unrelated but i woke up from my nap on the flight with these lyrics in my head: "all gold, in california, is in a bank in the middle of beverly hills, in somebody else's name, so if you're dreaming, of california..." the gatlin brothers if i'm not mistaken. you probably didn't know this but when i first moved to houston my dad would always listen to casey kasem's top 40 country countdown on sunday mornings. for years, i'd sing along to all of the top country songs, i knew all the lyrics but didn't have an idea what they were singing about. keep in mind i was probably in elementary school at the time and the stereo was dad's domain. as far as i was aware there was only one station on the radio and it played country music. but in art class we'd listen to the radio as well but something happened that was eye opening: the teacher changed the channel. wait, there's more than just country music? first thing i did when i got home that day was turn on the radio and seeked out any and all stations other than country. goodbye cheating hearts, hello vegemite sangwich.

i went home for lunch yesterday and mom really hooked it up. steamed fish, sauteed eggplant, stewed pork with salty preserved mustard greens, and a few other dishes i didn't even get around to. here's how mom said to make the fish:

place 2-4 filets in a deep pan
pour in some soy sauce, cooking wine, salt, and sugar
top with thinly sliced garlic, ginger, green onions, bacon, shitake mushrooms, hot peppers, and whole salty black beans
steam or cover and bake for 30 minutes

at the end of lunch my dad asks if i noticed mom's new hairdo. she's had what i'd consider the typical old mom haircut, her head looks like a puffy q-tip or head of broccoli. nancy, you know what i'm talkin bout, your mom is rockin one right now. but in the back she's got these wisps of hair that extend down and away from her neck. that's right, she's got the beginnings of a mullet! i wanted to ask pops to take a picture of it and email it to me but i didn't have the heart to blow moms up like that. dad, please cut that tail off when she's asleep.

i've been thinking of the sport of the future: three dimensional football played floating in the air. how would this be possible? you ever see how people practice skydiving without actually jumping from a plane at high altitude? they're inside a tall grain silo with a powerful fan at the bottom blowing air upwards. basically the air current is strong enough to keep them floating in mid-air and they maneuver around and hover by controlling their arm and leg movements. currently football is really played on a two dimensional plane with players moving left, right, forwards, or backwards. a first down and touchdown is made when the ball crosses a plane, which is limited by how high an athlete can jump. the field goal and extra point is the only real three dimensional score, where it counts if it crosses between the uprights and as high up as the imaginary lines extend. what i envision is a field full of these upward pointing fans and the action occurs in the air. they don't have to line up in a straight line, they can be lined up anywhere as long as they're all behind the plane of scrimmage. imagine a quarterback floating in space and a sack coming from above or below! the blockers have to watch defenders in literally all directions. safeties have to watch for wide receivers above and below. the only thing i haven't figured out is what kind of ball to use since a light one will get blown around. maybe a heavier ball that gets shot out of an air cannon? hmm, the cups might have to made of titanium and kevlar.

dunkin deez nuts

i only watched the florida-ucla game starting in the 2nd half. what i saw was a slam dunk display put on by florida and a shooting display by john leguizamo, er, jordan farmar. i also caught joakim noah winking at one of the cheerleaders as he was about to inbound a pass, as if to say "i'm a rock star and i'm gonna nail you behind the bleachers". he is and she should. but seriously, at least 80% of florida's field goals in the 2nd half of were the close range high percentage variety. i literally have dreams where i'm playing above the rim over mere mortals like yourselves.

i found out i might have to fly to new zealand for two weeks for work. i should be a lot more excited than i am.

donut sanchez

i didn't think i'd be eating steak again so soon after fogo de chao. today i was walking around old montreal with a coworker looking for a dinner spot. we found this one joint, homard fou, that had this great surf and turf! beef tenderloin with this peppercorn sauce on top and this split lobster. damn good i must say. old montreal is this great european-looking part of downtown montreal. dead around this time of year (we were literally the only two in that restaurant) but bustling during the summer months. hopefully i get to come back for work later this year.

tomorrow morning i'm gonna hit tim horton's for an ice cappucino and this new donut they advertised on tv. get this: chocolate covered and caramel filled. can you say wired? i will tomorrow!

long cat

can you believe this? they're wearing matching shirts!

i should've dozed off

towards the end of the flight from cleveland to montreal the woman across the aisle decides to start chatting with me. keep in mind she's had two gin and tonics, here are the highlights of the conversation:

do you speak french?
nope.
oh. they're going to make fun of you.

what do you do?
i'm a consultant with accenture.
oh, accenture. they used to be andersen, before they lost all credibility.

and then on the cab ride to the hotel the cabby starts in on his pending 2nd divorce and how it's best to live life while you can and do it alone. damn. here are some conversations i would have liked to have engaged in today:

do you know anything about mountain bikes or puppies?
keep your twenties, the next 10 dances are on me.
oh, you're hanky! i've read your blog, that shit is funny! you're right, mcphee is sooo gonna win it all!
hey, i'm looking for a new partner for this avp season. i'll take care of the passing, blocking, and defense. all you need to do is set me the ball. you down?
i just got these, do they look real? i have yellow fever.

isocks

how cool is this ipod sleeve? i saw an ad for it in "dwell" magazine, check it out at www.isweats.net.

have you started noticing a lot more asians, particularly females, in tv commercials lately? this morning there was an asian gal in an intel commercial, the other day another asian gal with a white sig other (damnit) in a sherwin williams commercial. the only asian guy i can think of is that know-it-all in the cingular wireless rollover minutes spots. if i don't see an asian portrayed in a gap commercial soon i'm gonna start writing letters! jk, i don't give a fuq.

i'll be in montreal and toronto this week, hope i have access to ai out there.