costa rica

I’m back in Houston from Costa Rica and I have to say it was a great time. More details in a second. The Spurs-Kings series is even, which I didn’t think was going to happen after the Spurs started the series winning the first two games. I guess they want to make it exciting and will pull it out in the final game. Kellie Pickler finally got booted, and I say finally because she’s just not nearly as good as the rest of the final group and could have gone home before Mandisa and Lisa. Next to go? I’ve got Paris selected so far. It’s not that she’s a bad singer, she just doesn’t have that mainstream appeal (not a honkey) the voters want. Simon even apologized to Katharine for bagging on her the night before. The NFL draft came and went and the Houston Texans seem to have stumped everyone. First they pass on hometown hero and national champion Vince Young, then they pass on Heisman winner Reggie Bush for defensive end Mario Williams. I like that the Titans got Vince Young and LenDale White. Arizona could be pretty good with Leinart at QB, James at RB, and Boldin and Fitzgerald at WR. We’ll see how big a difference Bush makes splitting time with McAllister in New Orleans.

Ok, so Costa Rica. Honestly I wasn’t looking forward to being on a plane and in a hotel again after having been in New Zealand the prior two weeks and Montreal and Toronto the week before that for work. Plus when I first signed up for the trip it was going to be me, Jeremy, and Gavin. As it got closer I find out Jeremy and Gavin are both bringing women. Being the fifth wheel is fun, isn’t it? I was looking for any excuse to cancel but nothing came up. In retrospect I’m glad I went. It had all the ingredients necessary for a great trip: lots of sun, great beaches, warm waves, t&a, good food (tons of papaya), and no gi issues. I didn’t bring my camera but am collecting digital photos from the other guys. Some are pretty funny, I’ll share them when I’ve got them consolidated.

J picks me up from the crib at around 1:45 Wednesday afternoon. I’ve got one rolling carry-on, the one I use when I travel for work for a week, and one shoulder bag. Had I not packed hiking boots and my Clarks I could have made due with just the roller, seeing as how I never used them anyway. We fly out of terminal E but the D/E lot is full, as is C. We end up parking in A and walked what seemed like 3 miles to get to our terminal. Once we get there we check out the President’s Club, thanks to some passes from “Continental customer service”. It’s a nice spread: a big TV lounge, internet connectivity, open bar, and some light snacks (cheese, crackers, deez nuts, and chips). Before boarding I had to exchange some US dollars for Costa Rica Colones, $200 USD = $101,318 CRC.

National Rental at Liberia wanted to give us a RAV4 but we wanted a Prado, their version of the Land Cruiser. We got it and headed towards Mono Congo Lodge in Playa Negra. Gavin had been there before so we were kinda going on a basic map and his memory. The roads there are poorly lit, if at all, narrow, and sometimes just downright shitty. We end up driving thru Santa Cruz 3 times along the way, our host at the lodge called that place “the hinges of hell”. It’s late so we decide to stop at the next open cantina for a bite before who knows how long until we get to the lodge. We park and notice all the local patrons and dogs staring at us but everyone was friendly. Turns out they’ve also got karaoke going on. We order our food and then Laura and I proceed to slaughter “Sweet Child of Mine”. J and Gavin were hating life. At the end of the song we get a score of 98, which is considered a perfect score. Votefortheworst.com must be behind us. Then the waitress asks Laura to sing Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On”. She declines to go solo but agrees to a duet. The waitress claimed not to speak English but she sang it like she was born and raised in the US. As expected, 98. Somehow we get to talking about garlic suppositories to repel mosquitoes. We finish our meal and hit the road.

I’m having food coma right now so will try to jot down some quick notes about the trip:

Thursday. We attempt to catch some waves at Playa Avellana. Great conditions, heavy ass foam longboards. Yummy papaya and passion fruit smoothies and a 600 pound pig at Lola’s. Monkeys in the trees and on the roof top. 3 hour dinner at Café Playa Negra and kicking some ass at the foozball table.

Friday. Waves not so good in the morning. I heart Jeremy in the sand. J attempts to break the Prado, the ac spits out this white puff of dust. Playa Tamarindo is packed and developed. I turn down the pimp cuz I thought he was selling me trinkets. Laura picks up a white bikini. SI hump backs get photographed on the beaches on the way to Liberia. Elaine meets my playmate on the flight over. Playmate reveals love of weed and boyfriend at dinner. Playmate turned 30. We drive up a dark and rough path to the locked gates of Hotel Hacienda Guachepelin. Gates open, rooms available, playmate throws down some Crown Royal by the pool.

Saturday. Canopy tour thru the rainforest includes zip lining and a rock climbing wall. Everyone enjoys the occasional suck from my teat. The waterfall and group jump were sweet. Happy hour by the pool and Noah’s protective parents. Went into Vegas training by attacking the dinner buffet over and over. Big ass bugs all over the walls. Borrowed some Crown Royal. Wake up in the middle of the night to apply anti-itch ointment to fresh mosquito bites. Playmate is sleeping on top of her bed sheets on her side in just a pink thong and bra. Nice ass pointed right at me. I’m applying the ointment all over my body just so I can keep staring at her booty. Brushing teeth, running sink, flushing toilet in an attempt to wake her. Lights out, back to bed, mad frustrated. J says no jury in America would have found me guilty of molesting this passed out playmate.

Sunday. My guns are too big for CR t-shirts. Checked in at the airport, headed back out to gas up the vehicles and load up on TCBY. Almost missed the flight, boarded 15 minutes before departure time. Guts still intact after eating the in-flight snack.

More pictures to follow. If you're wondering why there are capital letters in this post it's because I'm typing this in MS Word prior to pasting it into the blog and it's doing it for me.