hawman

hawman - noun or verb, euphemism for anything remotely sexual. examples: she was all over my hawman, let's go back to my place and hawman. can be pronounced quickly or drawn out for emphasis. origin - unclear but used heavily by william wu, henry peng, and eugene shen. actually, it can be used in any situation.

i'm writing this in my hotel room in a doubletree in downtown little rock, arkansas, and i look up to see this scene on the boob (hawman) tube. a patient, who looks like kenny mayne of espn, in one of those backless gowns is crouched over an examination table facing the camera calmly waiting for a rectal or prostate exam. the doctor opens the door and enters the room, is talking to the patient, and begins putting on his rubber gloves. his hands are huge and chunky, kinda like he had on those incredible hulk fists that make exploding noises when you punch someone while wearing them. the patient looks back, his eyes suddenly widen when he gets a glimps at those hands that are about to go into his ass, and he gets off the table and bolts out the door. this is a commercial for national car rental. aside: article about how the hulk hands changed a guy's life http://x-entertainment.com/articles/0748/.

yesterday i'm driving by allen parkway and waugh on my way to the office. from a distance i see this jogger wearing those tiny running shorts and a black mesh sleeveless shirt. what a strange running outfit, right? well, it is close to montrose (houston's castro) i figure. but as i get closer i notice that it's not a shirt but hair on his back. sweet.

at the airport yesterday i get in line for the security check behind a bunch of girls that play golf for the arkansas razorbacks. they've all got khaki shorts, a white polo under a black sleveless vest, sneakers, and big ass calves. is that a prereq or a result of golfing? some of them had calves that would make me and franky look like spencer. for those of you that haven't seen spencer's "calves" they're, um, lean.

if you put a fan and some confetti in a vacuum and turn on the fan, does the confetti get blown around? my initial answer is no since a vacuum would imply a complete lack of air so there isn't anything to blow. what do you think? hawman.

get this, i just found out there is a hawman family crest! http://www.houseofnames.com/xq/asp.fc/qx/hawman-family-crest.htm