floyd barry bonds landis

ok, i have to admit i wasn't watching too much tour de france this year. or at least the reason i did watch it was because i was awake in india during the race. the past few years i couldn't take my eyes off of it for fear of missing lance armstrong and his team doing something superhuman. what do we see this year? a buncha chumps get bumped before the race even starts for doping allegations. then that leaves george hincapie and floyd landis as favorites. george melts, floyd shines. then melts. then shines again. then wins.

now we might find out how floyd came out of nowhere to win. apparently his testosterone levels were suspiciously high. hell, i've met girls like that but that hasn't been enough to keep them out of the bars...

paradise poker is retarded

if you can't read the dealer comments in the pic, either click on the pic to get a larger view or just read below. oh yeah, i'm sugar_lay.

>Dealer: r58oft shows high card ace
>Dealer: sugar_lay shows high card ace -- king kicker
>Dealer: Mantorras shows high card ace -- jack kicker
>#1,613,052,982: Mantorras wins (675) with high card ace

doesn't king kicker beat jack kicker? if not i need to change my strategy. waiting to hear back from paradise poker support. this should be interesting.


ok, here's their response:

Thank you for your patience. If you review the hand below you will note that Mantorras also had a King with a Jack. sugar_lay had a King with a Ten. In this hand Ah Ks Js 7h 6s beat Ah Kc Ts 7h 6s.

Game #1613052982 - Tournament Quickie - 100 player max - 75/150 No Limit Texas Hold'em - 2006/07/26-20:27:32.7 (CST)
Table "Quickie 6" (MTT) -- Seat 4 is the button
Seat 2: dplusplus (2,175 in chips)
Seat 3: laxkilla (1,102 in chips)
Seat 4: Mantorras (6,245 in chips)
Seat 5: orton (1,875 in chips)
Seat 6: r58oft (2,505 in chips)
Seat 7: bkelly72 (2,570 in chips)
Seat 8: sugar_lay (960 in chips)
Seat 9: Capt.VOID (3,440 in chips)
Seat 10: dale08 (2,275 in chips)
orton : Post Small Blind (75)
r58oft : Post Big Blind (150)
Dealing...
bkelly72: Fold
sugar_lay: Call (150)
Capt.VOID: Fold
dale08 : Fold
dplusplus: Fold
laxkilla: Call (150)
Mantorras: Call (150)
orton : Fold
r58oft : Check
*** FLOP *** : [ 5h Ah 3d ]
r58oft : Check
sugar_lay: Check
laxkilla: Check
Mantorras: Check
*** TURN *** : [ 5h Ah 3d ] [ 6s ]
r58oft : Check
sugar_lay: Check
laxkilla: Check
Mantorras: Check
*** RIVER *** : [ 5h Ah 3d 6s ] [ 7h ]
r58oft : Check
sugar_lay: Check
laxkilla: Check
Mantorras: Check
*** SUMMARY ***
Pot: 675 Board: [ 5h Ah 3d 6s 7h ]
dplusplus didn't bet (folded)
laxkilla lost 150 [ 9c Qc ] (high card ace)
Mantorras bet 150, collected 675, net +525 (showed hand) [ Ks Js ] (high card ace)
orton lost 75 (folded)
r58oft lost 150 (showed hand) [ Jc 8h ] (high card ace)
bkelly72 didn't bet (folded)
sugar_lay lost 150 (showed hand) [ Ts Kc ] (high card ace)
Capt.VOID didn't bet (folded)
dale08 didn't bet (folded)

Sorry for any confusion caused. If you have any further questions regarding this or any other matter please don't hesitate to contact us.


sweet, so i lost when i was supposed to have lost. that's good to know, just the dealer comment was misleading. sorry fuckers.

supernova

have you seen this show yet? tonight i'm watching it for the first time. similar in concept to american idol, cept this time you're singing with a rock band behind you, auditioning for the band of superstars. one gal about to get cut tonight is from austin, tx. apparently one of the favorites to go all the way is from houston! i don't have any names for you since it's all new to me so far. it seems like the ones that don't do as well are the ones that can't seem to take criticism very well. or those that can't carry a damn tune.

it's been raining like crazy here in houston lately. i was hoping that was just when i was away in india but i haven't been as lucky. the water level at the bayou is pretty damn high but luckily my immediate area hasn't flooded. it's still crazy humid tho. yesterday j and i played tennis and we were soaked! two sets, j kicked my ass in both. i need to run him over with my car if i'm to have a chance at winning. maybe.

last week kal announced that he proposed to houda and she said yes. i would have found out last thursday night but louis and i were having drinks at treasures. i mean, it's not like he proposed at komodo or anything. either way, i'm super happy for them. they're a great couple.

chennizzle

i think taxi drivers here all believe in reincarnation and have a better life waiting for them. and that the smaller their car, the easier it is to outmaneuver large trucks and death. if you thought i was a wreckless or aggressive driver, you ain't seen shit. most of the roads here are two way, with one lane going each way. tonight's driver spent 75% of the time in the other lane. out here, instead of turn signals they have flashing headlights and horns. it's even worse when they get calls on their cell and talk while playing chicken on the road. here's what that sounds like: honk honk naan and curry pick up punjabi red dot damnit masala dosa flying carpet chutney beep beep.

oh yeah, so there are cows all over the place that just roam freely everywhere. at work i was polling two guys: if you had two swerve one way or the other to save your own life, and swerving one way you would hit a cow, swerving the other you'd hit a human, which way would you swerve? they were laughing at me when i asked but i think it's a very real situation. one immediately said they'd make hamburger, the other actually had to think about it before settling on steaks as well.

i had this personal pan pizza at work today, kinda their version of the combo. there was this reddish diced chicken and instead of tomater sauce there was some kind of brownish chili paste. pretty interesting really. here the locals smother their pizzas with ketchup.

thanks for the concern you've shown by asking if i'm ok. there was a bombing in mumbai, luckily i'm in chennai. as dave huang pointed out, the last time i was in india, november 2005, there was a bombing in the country as well. when i fly home friday night it's gonna suck with security all tight, i better expect a cavity search. hey, can you examine my prostate while you're in there?

check this out, pretty bizarre. probably something they came up with at 4am and drunk (hell, it's 4:52am here and i'm dehydrated):
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6456501462866396737&q=genre%3Acomedy
hmm, how would i torture her... i'd put her on the ten foot line of a volleyball court with a men's height net. then'd i'd have someone set me tight low two's and bomb away. don't worry, for whatever reason i wouldn't be able to hit her. no snap i think. put her in the back of the court, however, and her head might as well be another wall.

sweet, a lizard just crawled under the front door into the room. i'm hungry.

paradise is getting better

i'll just get it out of the way, last night sucked. by last night i mean the time i should be asleep. i hit the sack around midnite, woke up around 3am, was fully awake til 5am, tossed and tuned til 7am. i guess this is an improvement tho, the night before i woke up around 1am and pretty much stayed up.

the morning started off pretty sweet after i got up tho. pulled up the shades to expose a sun filled scene. palm and coconut trees, lush vegetation, and the beach and ocean in front of me. the breakfast buffet kicked ass too! fresh cut papaya, mango, watermelon, and canteloupe. one thing i noticed, the mango here tastes weird. maybe not weird, just real different than any mango i've ever had. ok, weird, but whatever. then the freshly made waffle with maple syrup and butter. and then some more syrup. a few varieties of cheese and crackers. a croissant with homemade cherry jam and pineapple jam. now that jam was something special, especially the cherry. there was one last piece of croissant left, maybe the size of a quarter, but i was out of jam. i went back and slapped a huge dollop of cherry jam onto that tiny bit of croissant, the perfect ratio. then there was some more mango and papaya with fresh lime squeezed on top. some hot tea with honey to wash it down. i know, i look and feel like a little pot bellied pig right now, but i'm happy about it.

generally the food here is pretty good. last night was the first screw up. i ordered the thai green curry with vegetables and a side of steamed rice. i've had it before and it was pretty tasty. this time i asked if they could throw some chicken in there and the guy says fine. when the dish came it wasn't green, there were no vegetables, but at least there was chicken. 1 out of 3 isn't bad. wait, yes, it is, percentage wise anyway. it was edible and different so i didn't send it back.

at breakfast there were these two young asian ladies a few tables down. cute i'd say, i couldn't make out what language they were speaking to each other but it wasn't english. didn't look chinese, viet, jap, or flip. i think they each had tattoos on their arms right below the shoulder. i'm not sure those count as bullseyes a la "wedding crashers". i'll try to find out this wknd tho. yum, white milf just walked by. i'm sorry, what?

in about an hour i'm scheduled for two hours at the hotel spa. here's the treatment i selected:

jivaniya - invigorate
an energizing treatment to relieve muscular tension and improve blood circulation. this treatment includes an exfoliating herbal scrub, a heat-stimulating wrap of exotic spices and hers from the hills of india, followed by a massage.

all of this goes for 3000 indian rupees, which converts to $65 usd. for two hours, this is a steal. and yeah, it's going on my hotel bill and i'm gonna try to get work to pay for it. ok, i won't forget the massage i got the last time i was in chennai, some time in november 2005. two guys oiling me up and rubbing me down. that was not relaxing, in fact i left more rigid than when i came in. this time, when they asked if i wanted male or female , i pretended to think about it for a second before responding "young hot horny naked single big breasted chick please". i'll let you know how that goes.

paradise sucks

so this is a picture i found from a random travel site. it shows a cottage view of the sea. i'm staying in one of these cottages but my view isn't quite that spectacular. however, i can hear the waves crashing down on the beach 200 feet away. there are frogs, lizards, and tropical birds everywhere. there is also a private outdoor shower connected to my cottage.

so why the negative title? i wrote everything before this monday evening. at that point delta had misplaced my luggage so i had been wearing the same clothes for about 48 hours. if you thought balsamic vinegar was sour, you shoulda smelled my socks. nasty, i know. you'd be hating everything in sight as well i guarantee. luckily by the time i got back to my hotel room tuesday night my luggage had showed up. living with nothing for two days really made me see how much extraneous shit we've become accustomed to. not enough to change how i live tho, thank god i got my stuff back.

twice a day, in the morning and evening, i put my life in jeopardy. i swear, on each trip to/from the office the drivers narrowly avoid a loud and gruesome death at least 10 times. there are lines painted on the much improved paved roads but by the way they drive here you wouldn't know it. lane dividers? psht! when locals buy cars here i'm convinced the features they look for in decreasing order of importance are: working horn, car starts, ac, 3+ wheels. sometimes we're on these roads wide enuf for just a single car, with a small dirt shoulder on either side. it becomes a total game of chicken when cars need to pass coming from opposite directions. these guys both hold their positions in the middle of the lane until the very last minute and then a violent swerve. the funny thing is the drivers never wear their seat belts and so far neither have i. i should prolly start. after i get into the car each time i'm curious when he's gonna start riding the horn. if they were to ride the horn as much as they do here but in texas, they'd get shot in a heartbeat and the shooter would be found innocent.

so the reason i'm here in india is because i'm a so called i-many expert. it's the application i started configuring when i joined afs may 2005. we've got a call center in chennai that collects debt for clients all over the world. they're supposed to be using i-many but somehow ended up using excel as their main tool. my job was to get them away from excel and onto i-many. my partner in crime is this nice gentleman from bangalore named sriram. today we went down to the cafeteria for a break and ordered milkshakes from the fresh fruit bar. i ordered this fresh fig shake, he ordered mango. when we got them and i tasted mine, he asks "is it nice?" in my head i was thinking "no, it's kind of an asshole", which probably makes me an asshole.

one interesting thing i've noticed. the office here is full of young men and women, all indian. i seriously must be the only oriental guy in chennai right now. anyhow, with all these young men and women at work, i've never seen anyone with a lustful look towards the opposite sex. maybe it's just me and my horny friends but if we see a hot gal walk by at work, we stare and we make crude remarks to each other. no lingering looks to be had here. this is what i'd describe as a hostile work environment. look at my crotch damnit!