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Monday, July 03, 2006

paradise sucks


so this is a picture i found from a random travel site. it shows a cottage view of the sea. i'm staying in one of these cottages but my view isn't quite that spectacular. however, i can hear the waves crashing down on the beach 200 feet away. there are frogs, lizards, and tropical birds everywhere. there is also a private outdoor shower connected to my cottage.

so why the negative title? i wrote everything before this monday evening. at that point delta had misplaced my luggage so i had been wearing the same clothes for about 48 hours. if you thought balsamic vinegar was sour, you shoulda smelled my socks. nasty, i know. you'd be hating everything in sight as well i guarantee. luckily by the time i got back to my hotel room tuesday night my luggage had showed up. living with nothing for two days really made me see how much extraneous shit we've become accustomed to. not enough to change how i live tho, thank god i got my stuff back.

twice a day, in the morning and evening, i put my life in jeopardy. i swear, on each trip to/from the office the drivers narrowly avoid a loud and gruesome death at least 10 times. there are lines painted on the much improved paved roads but by the way they drive here you wouldn't know it. lane dividers? psht! when locals buy cars here i'm convinced the features they look for in decreasing order of importance are: working horn, car starts, ac, 3+ wheels. sometimes we're on these roads wide enuf for just a single car, with a small dirt shoulder on either side. it becomes a total game of chicken when cars need to pass coming from opposite directions. these guys both hold their positions in the middle of the lane until the very last minute and then a violent swerve. the funny thing is the drivers never wear their seat belts and so far neither have i. i should prolly start. after i get into the car each time i'm curious when he's gonna start riding the horn. if they were to ride the horn as much as they do here but in texas, they'd get shot in a heartbeat and the shooter would be found innocent.

so the reason i'm here in india is because i'm a so called i-many expert. it's the application i started configuring when i joined afs may 2005. we've got a call center in chennai that collects debt for clients all over the world. they're supposed to be using i-many but somehow ended up using excel as their main tool. my job was to get them away from excel and onto i-many. my partner in crime is this nice gentleman from bangalore named sriram. today we went down to the cafeteria for a break and ordered milkshakes from the fresh fruit bar. i ordered this fresh fig shake, he ordered mango. when we got them and i tasted mine, he asks "is it nice?" in my head i was thinking "no, it's kind of an asshole", which probably makes me an asshole.

one interesting thing i've noticed. the office here is full of young men and women, all indian. i seriously must be the only oriental guy in chennai right now. anyhow, with all these young men and women at work, i've never seen anyone with a lustful look towards the opposite sex. maybe it's just me and my horny friends but if we see a hot gal walk by at work, we stare and we make crude remarks to each other. no lingering looks to be had here. this is what i'd describe as a hostile work environment. look at my crotch damnit!

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey what a great site keep up the work its excellent.
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12:42 PM PDT

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your are Nice. And so is your site! Maybe you need some more pictures. Will return in the near future.
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10:01 PM PDT

 

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