"This blog is full deez."..."What's deez?"..."Deez nuts!!!" -- Henry Peng and Spencer Chen's Stoopid Blog

Friday, October 20, 2006

rocket science

i didn't know linda was an astronaut until she invited me to her nasa mixer. oh, naasa? i was gonna say, these astronauts are pretty fobby and young. naasa stands for national asian american society of accountsandfinanceprofessionals. i guess naasoaafp wasn't cool. anyhow, linda is somehow involved with the houston chapter - she's not only the president, she's also a member.

i haven't been to one of these professional mixers in a while and wasn't sure what to expect. can't be any worse than the naaap joints i've been to. i've never been to zake before either so i had another reason to go. from the evite alone i could tell that there would be a ton of folks from the big 4 accounting firms: pwc, ey, deloitte, and whoever the last one is. i wrote "afs" on my name tag and louis wrote "talent tree" on his. the plan was that strangers would ask "who is afs?" and we'd have something to talk about. i was wrong, no one gives a shit unless you work for one of the big 3 (since i don't remember the 4th). i would be talking to other folks there and they never asked who afs was. i made a name tag for willie (willie wu - linda's bitch) but he wouldn't wear it. he's so uptight sometimes...

there were some appetizers served, not bad but scarce. i bought trang a lychee martini and i had a different pussy drink - malibu and pineapple. no umbrella tho. zake is a pretty cool looking space. my only other previous experience is seeing some barbie and ken type folks walking out of there and some bubbly blonde said she wasn't wearing panties under her tiny skirt. sweet!

as expected, the crowd was fairly clique-ish. pwc folks here, ey over there, deloitte by the bathroom, and i still don't remember who the last one is. i work with/for none of them and am probably old enough to be their uncles so i mostly hung out with willie and louis. on the way to the appetizer table we made a few friends along the way. the two from boston and beaumont were funny but got all squeamish when willie and i got all friendly like. fucking narrow minded accountants...

i don't blame people for sticking to their little cliques, i've done it plenty myself. you go to a congregation of people, you don't know most of them, of course you're going to stay within your comfort zone and re-hash "laguna beach" and "grey's anatomy" with your buddies. remember, these kids are all doing the same shit but for competitors. reasons why you might leave your circle and mingle with the enemy? you hate your circle. the enemy is hot. her underwear is showing. you want a job with the enemy. you want a reason to never visit shang-HI.

if the goal is to get the crowd to mix, you can't penalize them but perhaps you can create an incentive to do so. say you're raffling off the hottest new pda phone (i don't know what that would be, i'm using a piece of shit motorola razr). you don't get a ticket just for showing up, but you get a ticket when...

Thursday, October 19, 2006

cyberdupe

ok, here's what happens when you respond to personals on craigslist:

1. peep out http://houston.craigslist.org/w4m/, which is the women seeking men section. half of the ads are entitled "find a lady in your neighborhood to have sex with today". i know some of my neighbors so i skip these.

2. find a normal ad to respond to, preferably one with a picture. i responded to one where the gal is normal, down to earth, works a lot and too busy to meet people. she's a sports fan and looks pretty cute in her picture. i figure what the hell and shoot her an email.

3. the next day i get an email back that says:

Hey there Henry. Nice for you to write me and you are pretty cute =P. I would love to get to know you but I'm headed to bed right now. We can chat tomorrow when I'm at work. I won't be able to chat via email though because my work blocks Google & Yahoo. I'm on SinglesNet though. It's like MySpace, except a site for people interested in dating. You can signup there, it's free and it doesn't require any credit card information so don't worry about that. My screen name on there is JennyRainbow, so search for me =P I'll be on all day, helps me kill time at work haha. Well, I hope to hear from ya, need someone to keep me company lol. Take care ~ Jenny

4. it's free so i register on singlesnet. i click a couple of my interests but don't submit paragraphs describing myself or who i'm looking for nor do i submit a photo. wouldn't you know it, no jennyrainbow on the site.

5. two days later i get a "flirt" from a singlesnet member. it's like a "wink" on match.com, basically a member showing interest. let's see what jjjacqueline is all about...

i am: warm hearted, generous, a networking and well planned social butterfly, witty, stubborn at times, very talkative, competitive, gainfully employed, not in need of larger suitcases for my baggage, not on medication, am always on time and i always do what i say that i will. i am a huge college football fan. gimme a cold beer and an longhorns game and i will yell at the TV with you i will sing karaoke (not always well) but just for fun. i will make you laugh when you need some cheering up. and i always take my friends very seriously. Cheers and happy dating!

of course you can "flirt" back for free but you've got to become a paying member to email her. pretty elaborate scheme to get members to their site, don't you think? just email someone some titties and they'll pull out their credit card? now where the hell did i leave my wallet...

1996 ibis szazbo


old:

aluminum unified rear triangle with sweet spot pivot placement
xt crankset, chainrings, and bottom bracket
xt hubs and mavic 217 rims
xt v-brakes
xt rapidfire shifter/brake lever combo
chris king headset
control tech seatpost
fox vanilla r shock

new:

marzocchi bomber z2 atom 80 fork
salsa stem
carbon fiber steerer tube spacer
syncros riser bar
wtb grips
panaracer fire xc pro tires
bontrager ti saddle
shimano m520 pedals
shimano xt front and rear derailleurs
sram 8 speed cassette and chain

next:

avid single digit 7 brakes
thomson seatpost
rear shock - cane creek cloud 9 perhaps?

smoked beer

so houston city council passed a measure to ban smoking in bars and restaurants. about damn time! unfortunately this won't take effect until september 2007. enjoy it while you can...

Monday, October 16, 2006

ufc 64: silva def. franklin

i'm a casual ufc fan and have seen a few of rich franklin's matches. he's defended his middleweight belt a few times and seemed unbeatable going into saturday's title defense against anderson silva. silva is 5'11" and 185 lbs with some long limbs. i wasn't able to catch the fight live but was shocked when my friend text messaged me that franklin lost by tko in the first round. check it out, franklin gets demolished with a barrage of knees to the body and head. seriously, franklin just gets his ass handed to him.


Thursday, October 12, 2006

bass player wanted

i found an ad for a newly formed alt rock cover band in houston looking for a bass player. here's their set list. i think i'm supposed to audition sunday afternoon. we'll see how that goes, i haven't touched my bass in a few months. should be fun tho, it's the kind of music i listen to.

GASOLINE -SEETHER
VASELINE-STP
HARD TO HANNAHA -BLACK CROWES
SANTERIA- SUBLIME
SUGAR WE'RE GOING DOWN -FALL OUT BOY
HARDER TO BREATHE- MAROON 5
INTERSTATE LOVE SONG-STP
BAD DAY- FUEL
THE MIDDLE-JIMMY BLAH BLAH
BREAK STUFF-LIMP BIZKIT
TUSH-ZZ TOP
ALL MY LIKE-FOO FIGHTERS
WISH U WERE HERE- INCUBUS
SAY IT AIN'T SO-WEEZER
WOULD-ALICE IN CHAINS
SOBER-TOOL
SLITHER-VELVET REVOLVER

here's their ad from craigslist:

Newly formed coverband looking for the final spot of bass playa. We are doing modern alternative music we will be playing sherlocks and such. Rehearsals and auditions in southwest houston at the rock center. Setlist provided upon contact. Please provide pics and links of your playing if possible. We are looking for a good modern rock band look. Yes looks are important as well.

the question is, do i have the look?

tito ortiz vs. ken shamrock 3

my tivo was supposed to be recording this tuesday night but when i got home from volleyball i was pissed off to find that it didn't. i started searching for the results on the internet and it took a lot longer to find out who won the fight than it took tito to beat ken's ass a third and final time. peep it out here. no surprise, tito is 11 years younger and has a 7.5" reach advantage.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

amsterdam

i always thought "amsterdam" by coldplay was a powerful song. i always imagined it would be part of a movie soundtrack at some emotionally charged high point. i'm playing online poker, a $10 buy in 100 person tournament. i'm currently first out of the remaining 22 with 15% of the total chips. i'm sure i'll find a way to lose it all. anyhow, i'm kinda watching "the nine" and "amsterdam" starts playing in the background. i'm not really paying attention to what's happening until the song reaches it's climax. at the end of the episode, a young doctor is walking towards a murderer in a coma with a syringe in hand. he walks over and injects the contents into the iv lead, walks away, and you hear the murderer flatline. powerful, no? if you've never heard the song, you really must download it and give it a listen. it gives me goose bumps every time. plug it in and crank it up. here are the lyrics:

Amsterdam
Coldplay (A Rush Of Blood To The Head)

Come on, oh my star is fading
And I swerve out of control
If I, if I'd only waited
I'd not be stuck here in this hole

Come here, oh my star is fading
And I swerve out of control
And I swear, I waited and waited
I've got to get out of this hole
But time is on your side, its on your side, now
Not pushing you down, and all around
It's no cause for concern

Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
And I know I'm dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath
And time is on your side, its on your side, now
Not pushing you down, and all around
No it's no cause for concern

Stuck on the end of this ball and chain
And I'm on my way back down again
Stood on the edge, tied to the noose
Sick to the stomach
You can say what you mean
But it won't change a thing
I'm sick of the secrets

Stood on the edge, tied to the noose
And you came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

top 10 things not to do while driving bottomless

10. roll your windows down
9. stop for gas
8. go through the drive through window at mcdonalds
7. let some random guy at the stop light wash your windshield
6. drive next to a gay truck driver
5. talk to neighbors in the driveway
4. ask for change at the toll booth
3. get pulled over for a moving violation
2. get into an accident
1. become aroused

i know, doesn't happen often but i did it for the second time last night. i played my two sand volleyball matches, showered up at the facilities but forgot my towel or clothes to change into. it felt too uncomfortable wearing wet shorts and i didn't want to get my cloth car seat all soaked. so i decided to get into the car, close the door, and lose the shorts. just my bare ass on the seat. i haven't driven this carefully in a looong time.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

nomatch.com

my friend, we'll call her "yancy", is a horrible match maker. today, yancy over im asks "oh, what about so-and-so? she's cute, smart, from houston." i said i thought she was seeing someone and yancy replies "oh, dunno." she might as well have asked why i wasn't going out with heidi klum. back when i was living in sf and yancy was living in la, she set me up on a blind date in la since i was travelling there a lot for work. we met up, she was cute enough but there just wasn't any chemistry. later yancy tells me she found out said blind date slept with half of la. i know, you're probably thinking i should have hit it too but that was back when i was pure. i'm sorry, what?

Monday, October 02, 2006

Mark Your Calendars - November 3, 2006.




















Borat comes to the big screen! In other news, the officials of Kazakhstan are pissed! Someone tell the President of Kazakhstan that there's no such thing as bad publicity...did you even know that Kazakhstan is an actual country 4 years ago?

-- Spencer