cradle robbing

at dinner tonight i told my coworkers this story about how my mom tried to set me up on a blind date. then my friend linda just asked me if my parents try to set me up. so here goes...

i think i was living in sf at the time and i came home to visit the folks in houston. i'm guessing this was around 1999. as if on q, they ask if i'm seeing anyone. i probably wasn't so i told them no. my mom leaves the room and comes back with a picture. she tells me she just saw her old college friend when my mom and dad went back to taiwan for her college reunion. she says her college friend has this daughter and then hands me a picture.

i shit you not, this girl looked 14. i literally said "mom, what's wrong with you!?!" she starts laughing and said something like "what? when she's 18 you'll be twenty(something)". i told her never to set me up. she's a funny woman.

cheerio

i get into my seat in the little jet from cleveland to rochester on sunday night. it's one of those 1+2 jets. i got a little time so i check my email through my cell phone. i get this new one:

Hey Guys!
I was wondering if anyone was interested in doing High Tea @ the St. Regis sometime next weekend. It's $33 and includes full tea service and snacks from 3 - 5 pm. I was thinking Saturday or Sunday afternoon. Let me know if you're interested and what day works best.

i'm thinking my houston friends are way too sophisticated for me. i don't deserve them. then this rosie o'donnell of a flight attendant starts screaming in my ear! that's what it seemed like anyway. i actually reached above me looking for a volume knob next to the speaker! i didn't find one so i covered the speaker with the book i was reading. i had it up there for a good 30 seconds while she went about her schpiel. she wasn't amused by it. loud ass bitch.

spotted!

so there's this guy in houston, he's probably a bit of a mystery and celebrity. i was having easter brunch with some friends at gravitas recently and he came up in conversation. have you seen that punk rocker guy with the big ass mohawk who rolls around on this little moped? yeah, i've seen him! sometimes he's got a guitar strapped to his back. that's right!

well, i still don't know who he is but i can prove he exists. peep it. i took these today with my phone on the way back to the crib. that's right, a lime green moped and hot pink mohawk. and yes, the clock in the subie is busted.

close, or no call

i haven't blogged about it but i've been in bangalore for a week and a half for work. this time tomorrow i'll be flying back to the us. it's not that nothing worthwhile has happened, i just haven't been blogging much except to mention boobs or how shitty sanjaya malakar is. how would you like to be the one on national tv week after week, everyone thinks you suck but thinks your sister at hooters has a great rack? she didn't make the hollywood cut but her twins did.

i woke up at 3am thinking about supportworks, one of the applications i'm enabling at our bangalore delivery center. i start looking around for my cell phone and it's nowhere to be found. i email a message to it hoping to hear a beep. i im'd telly to call it. he says it's ringing on his end but i don't hear a damn thing. crap.

last time i had it was on the cab ride on the way back from the office to the hotel. it was a tiny car so i took a nap with hunched down in the seat with my knees propped up against the seat back in front of me. it must've fallen out as the pants i wore has shallow pockets. i think this is where panic would normally have settled in but it really didn't. i was a little disappointed but not too stressed out. it's just a phone, right?

luckily the cabbie gave me his business card, as they all do, but i didn't throw it away, as i normally do. i put on my clothes and head to the front desk and ask him to call the cabbie. he tells me his cell phone is ringing but no answer. there are a few cabs parked out front and i can see a faint light coming from the back seat of one of them but i don't think anything of it. the guy at the hotel starts barking into the phone, turns out he did pick up and he's close by. when i ask how close he was, he points to the parked car where the light came from. the cabbie was sleeping in his back seat, which isn't unusual out here. i walked over to him and said hello, i guess i caught him putting his pants on. he gets into his car, unlocks his glove box and holds up a phone and asks if that's it. hot damn! how you like them apples? i owe him a big tip. i've got one round trip to/from the office and a one way to the airport left with his name on it.

i need to back up the numbers from my phone and erase some photos.

the blog i've always wanted

god is a man, or maybe a lesbian. www.egotastic.com if they posted articles about poop and strip clubs i could stop writing.

and a tribute to my all time favorite american idol.