"This blog is full deez."..."What's deez?"..."Deez nuts!!!" -- Henry Peng and Spencer Chen's Stoopid Blog

Friday, November 10, 2006

p-u

i was in rochester, ny, this week for work. not too bad yet, altho i hate the commute. there's no direct flight so i have to connect somewhere, where it's cleveland, chicago, newark, or wherever. our flight out of rochester to cleveland was delayed yesterday so there was the likelihood that we'd be spending the night in cleveland because there wasn't a later flight to houston if we missed the connection. luckily there were 6 of us on that flight so they held the plane for us leaving cleveland.

during the week i went to the bathroom and forgot i drank coffee after lunch. i forgot because it wasn't working, i was still drowsy as hell. what would it smell like if you had asparagus for lunch, chased it with coffee, took some vitamins and antibiotics. that would be a funky pee cocktail.

anyway, in rochester i'm in a conference room with a bunch of other accenture folks. of the 10 or so of us there, probably 6-7 are partners. i guess it's a good thing the client's firewall doesn't allow me to check yahoo mail or hop onto ebay.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Lil' MC


Lil' MC turned 2 recently...


But she's as hard as ever...don't mess!

Friday, November 03, 2006

party over here

jill had her birthday party at my place last night. how did that happen? it went something like this:

phone: ring ring
henry: hey jill, what's up?
jill: not much. what are you doing next thursday?
h: nothing, why?
j: can i have my birthday party at your place? it'll be like 25 people, you'll know half of them.
h: hmm, can i get back to you?
j: sure!

at first i was thinking that i hadn't even had a party at my place yet, why should i host someone else's? but then i figured i might never host my own party so why not? plus it'd be some of my friends coming over anyway. i text messaged her back "mi casa es su casa". we spoke shortly after and i asked what she needed of me. i was going to be out of town that weekend and busy the next two nights so wouldn't have a lot of time to plan and prepare for it. luckily all i needed to do was clean my place, easy enuf.

the night of the party rolls around and jill asks me to run over to spec's and pick up some liquor, she wants to make chocolate martinis and buttery nipples. to make that we need grey goose vodka, godiva chocolate liquor, creme de cacao, bailey's irish cream, and dekuyper butterscotch schnapps. while i'm there i pick up something for myself, namely pear cider, which i find next to the cosmetics, tampons, and other feminine products. seriously tho, the shit tastes good and has more alcohol by volume than beer! cider has 5%, shiner has 4.8%. bitch drink or not, all 6 bottles were gone by the end of the night. not sure how many were drank by bitches tho. add a coupla packs of plastic cups to the mix and the bill is $132! that's 6 lap dances plus tip! jill's mom reimbursed me (not in flesh currency) so it was all good.

it's great to be creative with food and drink but the perspective is different if you're a host or guest. for example, lots of shaved chocolate to line the rim of the glasses for the chocolate martinis. guests see it and think "wow, that's sweet!" me, i see chocolate shavings all over the floor and think "fucking cleanup nightmare!" drunk fools come up to me and go "hey, sweet party! where's the wine?" i'm thinking "after i mop it all up i'm gonna stick it in your ass."

really, i sound bitter but it was a great party. people were eating and drinking, there was a limbo competition, and then a lot of dancing. most importantly the birthday girl had a great time with her friends. jill, her sister, and mom stayed after to help clean up too. my floors and countertops are still filthy though and i'm not looking forward to cleaning that up. did i mention jill's younger sister is cute as hell? she's a phd student at the university of texas, is pretty cool, and has a nice rack. the downside is she's getting a divorce and is seeing someone else.

in other news, i'm getting staffed in rochester, ny, through april 2007 for work. i'll be flying in and out, monday through thursday, most weeks. i fucking hate cold weather too. paul, when's the next vegas tournament?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

hungry but not broke

man, i've got some catching up to do. some quickies:

* last weekend i went to laura's wedding in richmond, va. long ass wedding ceremony, reception was informal without assigned seating and barely tables. just buffet and mingling, not a bad idea. neo and spanky, remember when you got sat at some whack ass table nowhere near your friends? i told spencer i nailed a white bridesmaid but i was just pulling his leg. seriously though, i was 1/2 of the asian contingency at the wedding.

* i finally got eliminated from the king of the mountain football pool, no $25,000 for me. i got booted out when i selected jacksonville over houston and pittsburgh over oakland. how the f does the defending champion lose to the only remaining team without a win? whatever. i'm in last place in the two ffl leagues i'm in. ffl is dumb.

so get this, petr and i had lunch at the great charcoal chicken on monday. i try not to stuff myself at lunch so usually eat half of it there and take half to go for later. 1/4 of a roasted chicken on top of twice baked potatoes in a styrofoam container with my name on it in the fridge at work. i made the mistake of not taking it home that same day. i guess i should've known since the last time i brought leftovers to work someone ate it! blackened opelousas over dirty rice too, that's some good shit! anyhow, this morning i went to the fridge to see if my food was still there, maybe i'd have it for lunch. the container was there but when i opened it up i see $3 in single bills, folded up and sitting on top of the potatoes! i guess that's not a bad deal for me or the idiot who ate my chicken. but how the hell am i supposed to eat potatoes with nasty dollar bills sitting on top of it? they might as well have taken a dump on it. i've been to strip joints, i see where dollar bills go.

i told some friends about this and we came up with a few ideas. take the money the bandit leaves me and buy a locking lunchbox. put a price tag in the container along with my paypal email address. or piss on my leftovers to welcome him to golden showers catering. what? it's sterile.